The Third Wish!

It finally happened! There is nothing more rewarding than having busting your ass on a project, and having things come together! This project is a a cross between your greatest dream and your worst nightmare! The capacity for failure is immense, the rewards seems almost too good to be true!

Earl Stafford got me to give the orchestra a pep talk and talk about my work. Many of these players are friends of mine. Because I am an accepted and well liked member of "Team Orchestra" I think they are putting in extra effort for me! Orchestras have a reputation of being like sharks who try to rip apart composers who show the slightest sign of vulnerability. These guys are my friends and want me to succeed. For that I am extremely thankful.

When the orchestra started to work on my piece I was so excited I barely contain myself. I was trying to play the electric bass part (My bass player is out of town) but I just had to stop and listen! Hearing my orchestral music in my head is one thing... But hearing it performed is an feeling unlike ANYTHING I can describe! It felt like I was glowing, I felt so much joy and exhilaration, it was almost more than I could bear!

People kept looking at me to see how I was reacting to different sections. While they were playing I just stood there with a big stupid grin on my face! I'm going to have to try and be more serious and professional... I don't want them to think I'm just a big goof!

There are times when I doubt my abilities, and feel like I'm just lying to myself and those around me. We all suffer from self doubt sometimes. Am I a real composer? Do I have what it takes to write a piece from nothing? I always thought I knew, but today I am absolutely sure.