Towards an uncharted performance

Already I am being pulled towards new performance opportunities. I had to figure out what I'm looking for in a musical experience... a way of keeping myself from getting bogged down by things to which I'm not fully committed. There is nothing more tragic than losing time.

Here is an excerpt from a letter:

*****

I'm all for jamming and being creative as long as the group is moving towards something real. For example, when I used to play jazz I was always frustrated because all my teachers wanted me to recreate some old ideal that was old before THEY started chasing after it. I liked playing jazz and I still do but somewhere in my undergrad I just asked myself "What is the point of this? People far more dedicated than I have worked their entire lives and died in obscurity chasing something that died long ago. There must be away to define my own tradition and get even greater enjoyment!"

There are many ways of creating the musical "zone". The head space where time slows down and your mind moves into another plane where only you and the sound exisit. I've had it explained to me by famous jazz clinicians, teachers, performers, virtuosos, athletes, artists, priests ... That state that comes when the energy you produce adds to an ensemble and starts to swell beyond the sum of its parts.

Jazz combos, Orchestra, Big Band, folk ensembles, chamber groups, Ska, Punk and Rock Bands, Klesmer, turntables, Live electronics, piano,DDR... The list goes on. All these performance experiences have taken me to varying degrees of "the zone" in one way or another.

But now... After all that, I want to create a new experience to call my own. Something that can take me to that other world and hold me there. The kind of thing that I can dedicate my time and not feel a tinge of guilt, knowing every day that I am moving into uncharted territory.

By brain is packed with ideas on how to make this happen. It drives me to keep working, keep looking. It won't be easy, nothing worth while is. One day I hope to tear it out of the either and do something truly unique.

*****

Pretty crazy I know but that's the kind of stuff rattling around in my head most of the time.